Who else feels like they are in a continuous Abbott and Costello skit? Metaphors and idioms are abstract enough concepts to teach children anyway, but Autistic or FAS children are/can be very literal and concrete. You may recall the earlier blog about Knock Knock jokes; with that in mind we have been trying to teach Dakota when something is enough- when to quit. Here's the conversation: Dakota you have to know when to quit. Mom, I never quit. I know and thats good You said don't ever quit. Thats right but I don't mean that kind of quit. But I'm not gonna quit. Of course not and I'm glad but I mean you have to know when to stop doing something. Well I stop when I'm done...and so it goes. I am not sure if the repeating is a comfort to him because he is proud of himself for making a joke or getting/understanding something; or if its the attention he got from the first time he did it and he liked that; or that he's just not "done"! Whatever it is, teaching social mores to anyone who is so concrete is very difficult. Children already take things very literally but Dakota's difficulty with processing complex or abstract thoughts makes it even more confusing for him (I know a lot of adults who have difficulty with anything more complex in substance or concept than a #2 pencil so he's not alone). I always figured he'd learn these things by watching others or listening; it never occurred to me that I would have to explain them. Of course you have the typical things you have to get kids to understand like how to greet people when introduced, answering when someone speaks to you (though sometimes what they say back makes me wish they hadn't) or not staring at people who have a disability or are in some way different than you. Dakota is allowed to ask us about it or even ask the person about it (like people in wheelchairs or with other obvious physical differences); but he can't go up to people who are large and say "hey how come you're fat" or other things that might hurt (occasionally the little cherub jiggles the skin hanging on my arm and laughs and says "Can I wiggle it again" - what a dear boy). Usually he won't go up and ask; instead he'll ask if he can be that person, e.g. he pretends to be a teacher at daycare who is a little person, or walk like someone else who has a limp- he loves to pretend. But subtleties are very difficult. Its hard not to get reduced to "because I said so". We try explaining that there are some things that hurt people's feelings but since he doesn't show a lot of his besides anger, we're not sure he is making the connection. And it doesn't seem right to bring up things that people say that have hurt him and make him live it again- though I recognize at times its necessary. I don't think he picks up on facial cues very well so perhaps I'll try working on those. Then its on to figures of speech. I can hardly wait until someone says to him "Lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater"- OY!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Martin once told me he needed new batteries. "For what?", I asked. "For me", he insisted. "Why do YOU need batteries?" I asked. "Because I can't feel my heart beating." You see, we had had 2 separate discussions. One was that people die when their hearts stop beating. The other is that his remote car didn't run because the batteries had died. Makes sense, right?
ReplyDelete