Dakota has spelling tests on Fridays so we practice everyday. The first part of the week I don't make him spell them from memory. He has the list in front of him and he writes each word 3 times, spelling each one out loud as he writes them. Then we make up funny sentences with his words so he knows what they mean. As the week progresses we write them on the window with dry erase or cut out the letters and say them out loud as we put the words together. By Thursday he has to spell them from memory.
The other evening we were doing his spelling homework. It was a Tuesday so he still had the words in front of him. He wrote them all out 3 times and had the paper in his hand. I asked him to pick out a certain word- which he did. Then I asked him to look at the word and spell it out loud. He stared and stared at the word but couldn't do it. He knows the word, he knows the letters, but somewhere between the page and his recall mechanism he completely lost the connection.
I must admit to you a moment's feeling of defeat and hopelessness. Let me reassure you that it didn't last too long because there is so much he does know and more and more things he catches on to all the time. But right at that moment what crossed my mind was that this will never end. This kid is going to have to struggle every day, and every night we will be sitting here pulling every letter and syllable out of him. And when we do math the disconnect grows. Some times it just makes me feel tired and frankly, ill-equipped, to think about how to get through to him and how much each day is enough to push.
Eventually as I said the feeling passed. I will always do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to make his life is easier and better. But that doesn't mean I'm not overwhelmed at times. The truth is, we both are once in a while.
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