It's Just Not Fair

Mel and I were both early readers. Very early. We were both reading well before we started school. We knew from the onset that while we both would love to have had a precocious little prodigy toting around a copy of Little Women at the age of eight - that just wasn't going to happen. Prior to taking guardianship of Dakota we had a discussion about our goals as parents. Other than keeping the kid alive and safe, what did we hope to accomplish?

We both agreed that we wanted him to be "happy" (whatever that means), but we also wanted him to be kind, empathetic and compassionate. But deep in the back of our minds we were also thinking, "Once he gets here with us and we , (we of the intellectual superiority) start stimulating his little noggin, why he'll be caught up in no time."

And so, I decided that my first task as his cognitive sensei, would be to teach him to count to five. Now, remember, he is 3 1/2 years old when he invades moves in to our home. So, this counting to five thing should be no big deal, right? Right?

We counted to five without ceasing. In the tub, in the car, in the grocery store. While reading "Go Dog Go" (possibly the best book ever written) I would take his little finger and touch the dogs as we counted, "One, two, three big dogs coming out." We counted goldfish. We counted M&Ms. You get the picture. Only one to five. I didn't want to overwhelm him. It took at least six months. SIX MONTHS!!! before the kid could finally count one to five on his fingers. SIX MONTHS. And then I go and read about this kid who just spontaneously scratched out the table of periodic elements during her infancy. And all I can say is, IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT FREAKING FAIR. And sometimes that's what I want to do. I just want to scream because we have done so much work on his cognitive development and now, at the age of almost 10, he still struggles with "Go, Dog, Go", which he's had read to him 122,394 times. If any other parent put forth the kind of energy we have put forth, their ten year old would be a CEO by now.

But cognitive development was never the top goal of our parenting, and if I have learned anything in the past six years, it's that cognitive ability has absolutely no bearing on the value of a person. I love this kid more than words could express and I would change nothing about him. Nothing. NO-THING. He has my heart and I think he's as close to perfect as is humanly possible.

So, last Sunday morning I was teaching Sunday School to 4th and 5th graders. I grew up in a conservative church where Sunday School was all about indoctrination. As a result, I have a slightly different approach to Sunday School and this approach frequently involves Veggie Tales videos and hot chocolate. There were ten kids there this last Sunday. I was serving the hot chocolate, delivering two mugs at a time to the waiting hands of kids engrossed in "Little Joe". As it happens, Dakota was the 8th kid to get his mug of hot chocolate, but was the first kid to unglue his eyes from the television, smile up at me and say, "Thank you."

Didja hear that .... all you parents of "typical" kids? My kid said, "Thank you" while your brainiacs couldn't muster so much as a grunt of appreciation. My kid rules and your kid drools. Suck it.