You scared half the life out of me

I've mentioned before that Dakota has an auditory processing problem. One of the manifestations of this is he mixes up phrases, especially ones that rhyme. For example, Hannah Montana always comes out Hontana Matana. He has often heard the expressions 'You scared me half to death' and 'You scared the life out of me' (doesn't my house sound like fun ;-) but his mind processes these two together for some reason and he comes out with 'You scared half the life out of me'. Whichever expression you want to use he did it to us again this past week.

Dakota did something he shouldn't and as a result we spent overnight Friday in Children's Hospital. We were really scared for a bit; fortunately by Saturday morning the doctor said he would be fine but he would still feel bad for a while. My lips said "Thank God" but my mind said "Not as bad as he's going to feel when I get him home". I had reached, in that tiny uncomfortable ER cubicle, that fine line I believe we all find in these situations where you vacillate between the joy of relief and the desire to beat the child over the head with their bedpan. Happily, more often than not the relief wins the tug of war and everyone goes home in one piece. But this does bring up larger issues.

I am not sure that someone else did not help to convince him to do what he did and that scares me. Its at these times that Dakota's inability to communicate well is most frustrating. Most children when asked why they did something will answer, after great thought, "I dunno". Next they may add "Johnny told me to" but eventually they come up with something if only to shut you up. Dakota is absolutely stumped by why- it's as though the whole concept makes no sense to him. Now don't get me wrong, he will ask us why all the time but thats just a weapon in his arsenal of 'Things to Annoy People With'. I know because even after you tell him it doesn't stop him from talking and saying why until you put your head in the oven (which I don't recommend,especially with an electric oven). It seems he does not understand the question. He also has no concept of time so he could not tell us when this happened (an important piece of info if you are poisoned or eat bad food). So the scariest part of all this - well after the initial fear for his life and the final scare when the bill comes in- is what might someone talk him into; or what might he do because he does not understand consequences. Dakota, like many children with neurological disabilities- autism, FAS, others- are very literal so we have to take great pains to point out when he watches something in a movie or on TV that it is not real and people cannot do those things. Of course many of these issues are true of children who don't have disabilities too but they grow out of them eventually. I don't know when or if Dakota will and that means we have to be vigilante all of the time for subtle clues in his behavior or things he says off hand about something he saw or someone at school or daycare. People will often take advantage of the fact that children with his type of problem cannot tell an adult what happened or that they don't even understand that what a "bad" person told them to do was wrong. I look at his sweet face and feel so much love and yet so much worry. This parenting stuff sure looked easier on the Brady Bunch.