And miles to go before...no, thats not going to happen

There are two things that strike fear into my heart to even contemplate: Running out of chocolate in the middle of a movie, and; being on a plane for 10-12 hours with Dakota (actually there is a third thing: what if Larry King is the first person to live forever and he never leaves television -agh the horror!). The very thought of being on a plane for 12 hours with someone who doesn't sleep or stop talking is cause enough for a valium prescription. So why do it you say? Only my therapist could really tell you but I'll try.

This year I turn 50. What's that? How can this be? I look so young? Oh go on...really go on, please. Anyway, I want to take a big trip for my 50th and of course take Dakota, so I have been doing some planning. Big trip = long trip and anyone who's ever taken a long trip in a confined area with a child knows it is one of the tortures used by spy agencies around the world. Any child has trouble keeping busy and entertaining themselves on a long trip and in new places and Dakota's situation presents additional problems.

First the flight itself. Dakota is hyper so sleeping is not on his list of possible flight activities; and when he's nervous he talks non-stop. Second is the trip in general. Change is very hard for autistic children to deal with: there is the disruption in their routine, unfamiliar surroundings, a change in food, strangers, possibly even different languages. The combination of these can cause some behavioral changes that are pretty difficult to deal with- for him and us. Sometimes they will withdraw and refuse to participate. In Dakota's case he is more likely to become very animated and loud; do silly things; not listen- even become defiant. I'm learning that when that happens you have to remove him from the situation and the stimulus and get him into something familiar and routine. That is not always easy or convenient to do. And then there is the added difficulty of trying to determine if that is actually the problem or if he is just being a 10 year old kid who wants his way, requiring a whole different response.

How do we deal with all of this on vacation? How do we balance what we need to do to comfort him and help him control himself with not making his behavior the centerpiece of the vacation? Of course if I think he will have that much of a problem perhaps I shouldn't take him; but being away from us for 8 days would be just as hard for him- and us. Maybe the solution is to wait until he is a bit older for a vacation this big, or for when I am a little better at helping him with coping techniques. Or when I am more patient, well none of us have that kind of time and I may not even want to go when I'm 75.