Only the beginning, only just the start

Another year begins and like most people I reflect on the past year. The on and off (mostly off) diet; the wisdom of buying the lifetime insurance policy from AIG; and the really big questions like- if so many people in Congress are having affairs perhaps we really should be pouring more money into 'abstinence only education'.

Invariably my reflection goes beyond the past year and covers years and decades. Ten years ago I never would have thought I would be the mom of an almost 10 year old (Dakota turns 10 on Thursday) and five years ago I did not see as much hope for Dakota's future nor the great challenges that come with an older child with special needs. I went from assuming he would "grow out" of his disabilities and delays, to resigning myself to him never being able to read or hold a complete conversation, to gaining new hope as I hear him begin to read and learn new things. I often think he doesn't understand something and then he fools me when 3 days later he says "Hey mom, did you know that..." and repeats back what I tried to tell him.

My goal this year for myself is that I can spend more moments of hope and promise with him and fewer wasted moments being tired or discouraged. And I will try to remember the rest of the Chicago lyrics "Time passes much too quickly when we're together laughing" and make the moments count. We all get to start again every January 1st. It may be just another day on the calendar but we give ourselves permission on that day to forgive our failures and keep on going. Dakota has to, just as every "Thursday's Child" does, and as long as he is willing I have to make sure I'm able and then start again everyday. A happy and hopeful new year to us all.