Kids say the darndest/most awful things

Today I had to face one of those moments I dread more than almost anything. Kids were teasing Dakota and he got angry and threw his toy- which of course gets him in trouble. I have no idea what they said specifically and he can't - or won't- tell me. I wonder if he won't tell me because he is embarrassed by it or just wants to forget it. What I do know is that it breaks my heart to see him standing off by himself with tears falling down his cheeks. It is difficult enough for people to teach children that sometimes people say mean things; and even though it hurts we know they're just ignorant or scared and we can't let them control how we feel about ourselves. We definitely do not hit. Now, try to explain why kids- and sadly many adults- would say to him "Are you stupid or something". I have seen teachers of his exclude him from playing games  because he "wouldn't get it"(don't worry, that didn't get by- trust me, no one will ever accuse me of being subtle). Dakota loves music and once he told me he wanted to be a music teacher when he got big, just like Mrs. _____ at school. I told her about this to let her know what kind of impression she was making. She shrugged, laughed and said yeah right. It took all I had not to actually slap her face (Have you ever actually slapped someone's face? I think it would be far more shocking and insulting than a punch, and I 'm ashamed to say a little bit satisfying in this case; but then what kind of example would that be to Dakota? Darn this learning by example cr@#!).  I am not sure what parents actually teach kids about how they treat each other on the playground. Its so easy to go along with the crowd and pick on the handicapped ones, or fat ones or shy ones, or gay ones. To some, it is how they get to feel superior or even good about themselves because they feel like so little at home. And as adults they have no idea how to feel good about themselves so they keep on trying to feel better by making others feel worse - I know people like that.  They are sad adults who people talk badly about when they're not around. I guess nothing changes from the name calling we do as children; we just have the "good manners" to do it behind people's backs.