TMI or not enough?

This is a guest post from gouldie - Dakota's other parent.
I have had some reservations about creating a public (we have tens of readers) journal of our life with Dakota. These reservations stem from my constant struggle with whether or not to try to "explain" him to others. Dakota has no physical characteristics that hint to his disabilities. In fact, it is my total unbiased and objective opinion that he is a beautiful child. People who experience only brief encounters with Dakota walk away with the impression that he is a little reserved ... and beautiful.

When it becomes apparent that Dakota is "different" than other kids - that's when I'm never quite sure what to do or say. For instance, there are no indications of Dakota's physical limitations until he tries to run or climb or play sports. Then it's quite obvious that he can't keep pace with his peers. At the park one day when he was about age seven some younger kids (ages 4 or 5) tried to engage him in a game of tag. It only lasted a little while before one of the kids asked why he couldn't "play right." Looking back on it ... I probably shouldn't have stuffed the child in that trash can.

Other kids have asked questions like, "Why can't he talk right?" And adults have asked if English was his first language. I give vague responses. Some along the lines of, "He does the best he can." or "We're getting better every day." But I never know how much information to give. What is fair to him? I suppose I could say, "He has an auditory processing disorder and speech apraxia." Or, "He was never allowed to crawl or try to walk so the neural pathways in his legs didn't develop properly." But then I feel like I am labeling him ... putting him in a box.

Frankly, it's not as difficult now as it was that first year or so when his behavior was more "challenging". When your kid goes from zero to complete meltdown in 2.6 seconds in the grocery store part of you really, really wants to let the people around you know that this behavior is not the result of inept parenting.

Oh ... speaking of grocery stores, a quick diversion. Sometimes you can't just throw the little darling over your shoulder and take him to the car for time out. When Dakota was small he rode (like most little ones do) in that little seat behind the basket. Well, Dakota craves attention more than anything else in the world, so when he started acting out I would tell him that he was in "grocery store time out" and I would spin the cart around and push it backwards so that he couldn't see me (or better yet - he couldn't hit me). It took a few times, but eventually just the threat of "grocery store time out" would settle him.

Okay ... back on topic. I haven't really settled anything here. I"m still not sure how much information, if any, I should provide when others notice Dakota's differences. Any thoughts?